Mornings, Music, and Moments

Every day she awakens, unsure of what the day is going to hold, wanting…needing more from life. The hustle and bustle weigh her down most days, but still, she rises and makes the day GLORIOUS!!!

In an effort to become more, to live more, she contemplates how to make today different than the one before, how can she fly higher, how can she soar above the mundane, redundancy of her life? What can she do to set herself apart from everyone else? To prove that she’s so much more than a 9-5 that barely pays the bills?

It’s only 5:30 am, and she’s tried to sort out her entire life in a matter of a few moments, barely awake, lying in her bed, listening to her own thoughts. Stillness, frozen in her solitude. Allowing the feels to wash over her, allowing the morning to just BE!!

She arises, she makes her coffee, she sits and sips, still in amazement that this is her life. Knowing that she is the only one who can change it, she has to make a decision on what the next move for her is. How is she going to change things?

Now the anxiety is kicking in, she reflects on the past decisions she’s made that has led to the stagnate life she’s living, and she begins to cry. Guilt, shame, sadness now make their usual appearance. Every day around this time, it happens…Oh, the redundancy of life.

She sits and just allows it to happen for awhile, as she knows that if it doesn’t happen now, it’ll probably happen on the train on the way to work, or worse at her desk. THE FEELS!!!

She grabs her phone, turns to her favorite station on Pandora, taps the “power” button on her soundbar, and as the tears flow, the music starts to blare through the speaker, and she dances. She dances as if no one is watching, Dancing until she’s so out of breath that she forgets how life has turned out for her. She dances until she can’t open her eyes because of the sting of the sweat, she dances until the music has COMPLETELY washed her soul clean, until she can no longer feel the day, just the moment, just the movement in her bones. The flow, the passion, the words of the singer taking her to a place where there is NO space or time, where she can be who she wants, where no one knows her but the universe, and the universe loves her despite her scars, despite her past, despite her insecurities, despite how she feel she’s failed. The universe doesn’t judge. kita dancing

There she is…. She’s back, smiling, floating, happy, dancing the morning away, feeling all of the love she’s given to others through the years, wrapping herself in love!!!

“Let’s go face the day, you got this”… is what she hears. And she smiles, as she remembers, she’s still here, she still has a chance to change her life, she is still loved by many. She’s grateful, not only for life but for music, for the way it makes her feel.

Music has a way of helping her realize that Life isn’t about having it all together, it’s about learning how to live in the moment and truly ENJOY it. And that’s exactly what she does!! She may not feel that way in the morning, but for now, there is optimism, and she’s going to hold on to that.


Published by kitaredd

Thoughts of a single empty nester, who is enjoying the many things this new life of mine has to offer. The good, the bad, the ugly, all right here in blog form.

16 thoughts on “Mornings, Music, and Moments

  1. Lady, you must be a psychic!

    Just moments ago, I was reeling in my own thoughts that ran parallel to yours and then, here I am, reading exactly how I am feeling. It was as if I was like looking into a mirror.

    But the end… it was what put a smile on my face. It reminds me of the little post-it notes I write to myself, those little pebbles of motivation and understanding. Yes, we are alive. And yes, we are living, feeling, struggling …. but that’s because WE ARE HAPPILY ALIVE.

    Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece of yourself out here. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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